Pediatric Services Pediatric Services: An intervention team serving children with developmental delays.

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Parents Corner

Please remember

  • Your child is a child not a small adult... know what he is capable of handling.
  • Do not expect him to think, act or respond as an adult.
  • Your child is a child for a very short period of time...for both child and parents, this should be a happy growing-up period.
  • Your child faces enough problems on his own in our complicated daily living pattern. Let’s not add any unnecessary problems to his world.
  • Your child might not develop some of his sounds until age six or seven such as s, sh, t, th, r, etc. Do not laugh or make fun of him. Remember if he could say them correctly he would. Instead, when you hear him say it incorrectly, listen and observe, BUT be sure that when yo say the same sound, you say it correctly. A big part of speaking correctly is hearing it said properly. In some cases, the child’s problem may lie in his hearing.
  • Your child experiences and interprets situations differently than an adult. While watching the fireman put out a fire, he is impressed with the hoses, the firemen’s hats, boots, etc., whereas adults are concerned about property loss, seriousness of injuries, etc.
  • Your child forgets just as you do. How many times did you wait until the last minute to do something when you knew for months before it had to be done? Ye, parents often call their children "lazy" if they do the same thing.
  • Your child will only do what is explained to him. If you say "Throw you toys into your room," he will do exactly that instead of putting them into the toy box as you had assumed he understood.
  • Your child imitates everything he sees. First impressions, especially, have great impact. The examples you set, your attitude and how you do things is very important.
  • Your child will learn through his own experiences, not by your doing for him.
  • Your child may answer a question correctly BUT not be able to apply that answer in an actual situation. He may know how to make a left turn signal by putting his arm straight out, but put him on a bicycle in the street, and he is unable to understand that same situation.
  • Your child will be taught that a policeman is his friend. Don’t frighten or threaten by using the policeman is punishment.
  • Your child retains 10% of what he hears: 20% of what he sees: 30% of what he sees and hears: 90% of actual participation and involvement.
  • Your child will not begin to have a demand for rules in play until age seven or eight, and these rules are easy to change: not until 11 or 12 years of age do children have fixed, detailed rules, especially in game play.
  • Your child will learn and interpret life situations based on his degree of knowledge of the language and his social and emotional maturity.
  • Your child does not realize or understand that "accidents cost dollars"...but adults should! According to a recent National Highway Traffic Safety Administration (NHTSA) report, each fatal accident results in an average loss of approximately $200,000. Nearly $11 billion is "lost" each year due to auto fatalities while another $7.4 billion is "lost" in non-injury, property damage crashes.
  • Your child is exposed to over 40 household products and medicines in the home and could be one of the 250,000 children (mostly under five) that are subject to accidental poisoning each year. Protect your child by putting these products in locked cabinets or unreachable areas. Not under or above the sink, he can climb. DO NOT put cleaning fluids, paint thinner, etc., in beer or soft drink bottles or cans. Your child sees you drink from these containers and identifies. Consequently, they drink not knowing you were storing a toxic substance in that bottle or can.
  • Your child needs to be told "no". However, it is recommended that an explanation and/or demonstration follow. The explanation should not be long and technical, but should be brief and easily understood by your child. It should not be "negotiated".
  • Your child at age four and five is very curious and moves very quickly. DO NOT leave him unattended, especially in a car.
  • Your child needs reasonable limits. These limits should be simple, clearly explained and enforced.
  • Your child can greatly increase his IQ during the preschool years when his parents are involved with his preschool programs.
  • Your child develops his intellectual growth fastest in the first three years. Therefore, you cannot wait until he starts school to help him learn. This must be done during the early preschool years. (During the period from fifteen months to thirty-six months, your child’s language skills are emerging and appropriate experience and stimulation are needed during this time.)
  • Your child has feelings too....just like you. Don’t embarrass, laugh or make fun of him.
  • Your child needs protection, instruction and discipline all woven together with lots of Tender Loving Care.

On a lighter note

The toddler property laws

  • If I like it, it’s mine.
  • If it’s in my hand, it’s mine.
  • If I can take it from you, it’s mine.
  • If I had it a little while ago, it’s mine.
  • If I’m building something, all the pieces are mine.
  • If it looks just like mine, it’s mine.
  • If I saw it first, it’s mine.
  • If you are playing with something and you put it down, it automatically becomes mine.
  • If it’s mine, it must never appear to be yours in any way.
  • If it’s broken, it’s yours.

Children learn what they live

  • If a child lives with criticism,
    she learns to condemn.
  • If a child lives with hostility,
    she learns to fight.
  • If a child lives with ridicule,
    she learns to be shy.
  • If a child lives with shame,
    She learns to feel guilty.
  • If a child lives tolerance,
    She learns to be patient.
  • If a child lives with encouragement,
    She learns confidence.
  • If a child lives with praise,
    She learns to appreciate.
  • If a child lives with fairness,
    She learns justice.
  • If a child lives with security,
    She leans to have faith.
  • If a child lives approval,
    She learns to like himself.
  • If a child lives with acceptance and friendship,
    She learns to find love in the world.

Other useful resources

Drew Bledsoe of the New England Patriots has established the Drew Bledsoe Foundation Parenting With Dignity program. Bledsoe says of his success "my parents helped me the most to be what I am today" and his goal is to help other parents give their children the best possible start. For more information, see http://www.drewbledsoe.com/.

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Last modified: January 26, 2013