Pediatric Services Pediatric Services: An intervention team serving children with developmental delays.

HomeParents' CornerParents' Corner ArchiveProfessional CornerProfessional Corner ArchiveCase in ProgressCase in Progress ArchiveInspirational MessagesInspirational Messages ArchiveDirect ServicesConsultingSeminars, Workshops, and MoreSpecial EventsRecommended ReadingRecommended Reading for ChildrenAsk the Experts News FlashCurrent Question and AnswerUnderstanding the LingoAbout the TeamTestimonialsFees, Location, and DetailsTypical Development: MakennaTypical Development: LaceyResourcesPrivacyStatementConfidentiality

Parents Corner

Every Month: A Time for Love

This month there are three short articles all relating to relationships. They are very different, yet each article has something important we can learn.

Loving relationships with our children are as important as any other relationship. We often get so caught up in the day to day aspects of life that we forget to have fun and show our children that we love them. There are many every day gifts we can give our children.

Here are some ways to let your children know that you love them. Try to incorporate at least one loving demonstration every day this month.

  • Tell them every day that you love them.
  • Encourage them to make decisions that affect themselves.
  • Put a little note in their lunch (try their sandwich for fun!)
  • Laugh with them.
  • Make a cake together, then eat it.
  • Stop at those rides outside the stores and let them enjoy!
  • Play a game together.
  • Go for a walk or hike together.
  • Hug them for no reason.
  • Read a story aloud together.
  • Set time aside for your full attention.
  • Take pictures of them.
  • Use gentle movements, touch them softly,
  • Talk courteously, using a quiet voice.
  • Get into their world, try to understand their feelings.
  • Make sure they feel loved.
  • Set limits.
  • Say, "I bet you are proud of yourself for_________________. So am I."
  • Take a picnic lunch to the park.
  • Let them make plans for an activity. Do it their way, making sure it is safe.
  • Go roller-skating together.
  • See a movie together, talk about it with them.
  • Say, "Atta boy/Atta girl" more often.
  • Ask them what their favorite part of the day was.
  • Have a cuddle time.
  • Get The Book of Hugs and read it.
  • Make heart-shaped pancakes, cookies, cakes, toast, sandwiches, apple pieces, etc.
  • Get to their eye level when talking to them.

I hope you have fun with your children this month and make sure the message of love gets through.

10 ways to build communication
with very young children

From Mid Peninsula Speech and Language Clinic

1. Get on the child's level

Try to position yourself to be on the same level as the child. Don't expect the child to look up at you. Get down where he is.

2. Listen and observe

At first, do nothing but watch the child. Notice what the child is doing or saying. What is he/she looking at? What does he/she pay attention to? What does he/she pick up?

3. Follow the child's lead

Begin to make comments about what the child is doing or is looking at. If he moves on to something else, shift to the new things.

4. Keep it simple

Use gestures, signs, single words or short sentences (2 to 5 words) to describe the child's actions or the things that interest him/her.

5. Repeat frequently

As daily care giving is performed, repeat the words or phrases that describe it often. Doing so helps to build an association between the activity and the language used to describe it. The child will eventually begin to anticipate what will happen next as you are talking about it.

6. Don't ask questions

Young children are more responsive to statements than they are to questions. Questions intimidate. Statements do not.

7. Be patient

Allow child time to react and respond. Do not overwhelm him with too much talk from you. If you pause and wait a moment or two, you may give him time to think of a response.

8. Value the child's response

Look at the child. Give him/her your complete attention. Recognize the child's attempts at communication as being important, however he/she may be trying to do it.

9. Be responsive

Respond with either speech or action to the child's gestural or verbal attempts at communication.

10. Respond to the message

Focus on what the child is trying to communicate, not its grammatical structure or how clearly it was said.

This poem really struck a cord in me. It reminds us what is important in relationships. I hope you get as much out of this as I did, and will look within yourself for the answers to your questions.

The Invitation

by Oriah Mountain Dreamer (a Native American Elder)

It doesn't interest me what you do for a living
I want to know what you ache for,
and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart's longing.

It doesn't interest me how old you are.
I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love,
for your dreams,
for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn't interest me what planets are squaring your moon.
I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow,
if you have been opened by life's betrayals or have become
shriveled and closed from fear of further pain!
I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own,
without moving to hide it or fade it or fix it.
I want to know if you can be with joy, mine or your own,
if you can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you
to the tips of your fingers and toes
without cautioning us to be careful, be realistic,
or to remember the limitations of being human.

It doesn't interest me if the story you're telling me is true.
I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself;
if you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul.
I want to know if you can be faithful and therefore be trustworthy.
I want to know if you can see beauty even when it is not pretty every day,
and if you can source your life from God's presence.
I want to know if you can live with failure, yours and mine,
and still stand on the edge of a lake
and shout to the silver of the full moon, "Yes!"

It doesn't interest me to know where you live or how much money you have.
I want to know if you can get up after the night of grief and despair,
weary and bruised to the bone, and do what needs to be done for the children.

It doesn't interest me who you are, how you came to be here.
I want to know if you will stand in the center of the fire with me and not shrink back.

It doesn't interest me where or what or with whom you have studied.
I want to know what sustains you from the inside when all else falls away.
I want to know if you can be alone with yourself
and if you truly like the company you keep in empty moments.

Other useful resources

Drew Bledsoe of the New England Patriots has established the Drew Bledsoe Foundation Parenting With Dignity program. Bledsoe says of his success "my parents helped me the most to be what I am today" and his goal is to help other parents give their children the best possible start. For more information, see http://www.drewbledsoe.com/.

  • Unable to find what you're looking for? Search the entire site to find information about any subject we have information on. Instructions:
    Type a word or words into the form below and press the Search button. You may use "quotation marks" to search for a phrase. Adding a plus sign (+) before a word or phrase will require its presence; adding a minus sign (-) before a word or phrase will require its absence.

HomeParents' CornerParents' Corner ArchiveProfessional CornerProfessional Corner ArchiveCase in ProgressCase in Progress ArchiveInspirational MessagesInspirational Messages ArchiveDirect ServicesConsultingSeminars, Workshops, and MoreSpecial EventsRecommended ReadingRecommended Reading for ChildrenAsk the Experts News FlashCurrent Question and AnswerUnderstanding the LingoAbout the TeamTestimonialsFees, Location, and DetailsTypical Development: MakennaTypical Development: LaceyResourcesPrivacyStatementConfidentiality

CONTENTS (except as noted) ©2003-8 by Pediatric Services

Corporate Office in Morro Bay, California (San Luis Obispo County)
Telephone: 805.550.8799 Fax: 805.772.8246

E-mail:
Click here to ask a question.

DESIGN ©2003 by William Blinn Communications

Worthington, Ohio 43085

Articles written by Pediatric Services staff are copyright by Pediatric Services.
All other articles are copyright by their respective owners.
Information provided is for educational use only
and is not intended to replace medical advice from your physician.

Last modified: November 30, 2014